Story for the Worker

I had always sought true love, but could not find this elusive beast in my own village. So one day I took off on my mighty steed into the wild untamed hinterland of my quiet homestead in search of a beautiful maiden to call my own. The journey was hard and tough. My horse had gone through many a shoe by the journey's end, but it was worth it. I knew at once she was for me when I saw her exquisite white buttocks shining in the midday sunshine. She was washing herself in the nude, unashamedly, by the river. A pack animal at the side was left to hold her clothes. Glistening water poured over her sumptuous flesh. I tied up my horse and left it to sup at a nearby stream and then made my way in full armour towards her. Why full armour you ask? Well you are right, I am a handsome devil as it is in only my riding gear, but I had to impress upon her my wealth and stature as well as my handsome dashing looks. So full armour it was. I sauntered over, making sure to swing my longsword a couple of times to show my brilliance and adeptness at swordplay. She stood in awe of me as I approached. Still as a statue she held herself with her mouth gaping open in shock. I approached and greeted her by removing the helmet that had previously occluded, impressing upon her both my good manners as well as handsome looks. She was about to faint so I caught her in my strong masculine arms. I then proceeded to hold her until she regained a steady stance. She apologised for her lack of composure and explained she was shocked because she had never seen any swingers around these parts. Slingers were the only soldiers about. I told her that projectile slinging was as honourable a form of soldiering as sword swinging. She was taken aback by my modesty. It was then we both knew we had found true love. We made our way back to her home where we made passionate love. My dream to hold my true love in my arms had finally come true.